THIS Scares Me!

I have taken a long hiatus from blogging.  I like to think that the reason is because I have been incredibly busy with work, family and well life in general.  There is an element in truth in that but the reality is that I just stopped.  Maybe because blogging forced me to clarify my thoughts.  Maybe because I wondered if what I had to say was relevant or mattered.  Maybe I was just plain scared.

I recently ran across an great new site called Positively Positive.  The site is chockfull of quotes and stories that inspire you, make you think or just plain renew your faith in humanity.  I enjoyed the site so much I “Liked” their Facebook page and have the quote or story of the day show up in my updates.  Occassionally I will share something that really speaks to me but mostly I just enjoy reading quotes or watching the stories.  A couple of weeks ago Positively Positive shared this litttle gem…….

” Do one thing everyday that scares you.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

….. and it got me to thinking….and thinking…..and thinking.  Remember I said I saw this a couple of weeks ago?  Well, the quote has become something of an obsession occupying my thoughts at the most random times like in the middle of the night, while I am driving down the highway or while on working on next year’s budget at work.

An acquaintance commented on the quote I shared that he once was scared to talk to people but faced his fear bit by bit day by day.  When I met him a few years ago at a networking luncheon I would have never imagined that he had at one time been scared to talk to people he was a wonderful conversationalist.  Apparently Eleanor Roosevelt was onto to something.  

I asked myself what scares me?

THIS SCARES ME.  Blogging.

So I am back. Doing one thing everyday that scares me.  (Well maybe not everyday but two to three times a week!) 

Have you faced the one thing that scares you and conquered it?  I would love to hear about it!

New to Management? Be Prepared to Own the Responsibility

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Here’s a little note for those of you that have been identified as “management material.”  If you accept the challenge, OWN the responsibilities.

If you have been identified for a middle management position or found yourself on the fast track of your organization then someone saw your potential and was willing to go to bat for you, guide your development, be your mentor and perhaps most importantly put their trust in your abilities.

Their trust in you comes with an implied contract, if you are going to accept their offer to serve as your mentor as you climb the management ladder you must be prepared to accept and own all the responsibilities that come with the position

Think of your first foray into management, under the careful guidance of a mentor, as a proving ground of sorts.  A place where you can test your mettle, stumble once or twice and ask for help.  It’s expected.

This is also the time for basking in the warm glow of accomplishments and learning how to have those difficult conversations, handle conflicts and negativity that come about as a result of a decision you made.  Let’s face it none of us like to be in that situation but it is the reality of leading people, it will happen at some point in your career.  How you choose to handle a situation like this can make or break your career.

Those who choose to be successful will chose one of two paths; they will stiffen their spine and have that conversation or will look to their mentor for guidance or assistance in dealing with the situation.

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Others will take the fast track to oblivion by allowing their mentor to be blindsided by a situation that he or she had the responsibility for handling but looked the other way because it was unpleasant.  If this is the path you choose here’s the message you send to the mentor who placed their trust in you; “I don’t value your trust or professional expertise.”  Bam!  Just like that, the rocket you were riding to the top will run out of fuel and all the credibility you had worked so hard for will be gone in an instant.

So here’s the moral of the story…..if you are not willing to own all the responsibilities that come with stepping into leadership, to keep building that trust relationship and seek continuous growth then you need to hang up your cleats and go sit on the bench.

Have you ever put your trust in someone to help them excel only to have crushed in an instant?  Please share below.

Cures for the Common Leadership Cold

The past week was one heck of a week. It started off with the launching of a big new project and ended with racing to finish up all the loose ends in preparation for the three-day weekend.  Usually I would chalk that up to just another week, one that flew by because I was clicking through my task lists, both personal and professional, accomplishing goals and moving forward.  This week was different; I tried to accomplish everything in my usual manner but was stymied by one terrible cold.

Like most of us with busy schedules I convinced myself that I could still get things done and that being sick was just one more thing to conquer on a long list of things to do. This choice came with a consequence, that three-day weekend I was so looking forward to is now almost gone and I haven’t been able to really enjoy it the way I planned.

Rather than bemoan the fact the weekend is almost gone and that I didn’t get the chance to half the things I wanted to because I was sick; I took the opportunity to reflect on the choices I made that helped create my situation and how I could have done things differently.

I identified four things that I have not been doing well that played a big part in my getting rundown and sick enough to be completely ineffective:

• Rest and rejuvenate – going full speed trying to get it all done without taking time to get enough sleep or spend time on self reflection saps not only your physical energy but your mental strength.

o   Lesson:  make it a habit to get 8 hours of sleep and purposely block off time each day to just “be.”   Time spent in reflection becomes fertile ground for clarity of purpose.

• Exercise and eat healthy – being busy doesn’t make it ok to skip exercise or eating right.

o   Lesson: exercise fuels the body and the mind.  I must make a commitment to myself and my colleagues to exercise regularly so I have the energy to do my job right.

o   Lesson: eating healthy – breakfast is not a cup (or two or three) of coffee and lunch is not a soda and bag of chips.  Nourishing my body with the right foods at regular intervals sustains my energy level both physically and mentally and will give my body the tools to fight illnesses.

• Trust my staff – realize that I have good people around me that are capable of doing their jobs and doing them well.

o   Lesson:  I hired, trained and developed my staff.  I need to trust them and my judgment and know that they can and will handle things when I need to take a day or two to recover from an illness.

• Realize that with a plan things can wait – understanding that I don’t have to do it all at once in order to reach a goal if I have purposefully mapped out a plan.

o   Lesson:  prioritize my tasks so that every action I take is a conscious step toward my goal.  Plans are adaptable and can be modified as necessary.

I’d like to think of these four steps as cures for the common leadership cold.  As a leader, how do you cure your cold?

Managment Style vs. Employee Satisfaction

I recently had a conversation with a colleague who happens to manage a department of over a dozen employees.  She was facing a challenge with an employee that my collegue felt was partially a result of her management style which happens to be a mixture of Democratic and Participatory Management Styles.  Her frustration stemmed from believing she was doing the right thing for the employee and the organization from a management perspective but the employee was not satisfied; the emploee wanted her cake and to eat it too.  My colleague was struggling with her decision, which she made after much input from the employee involved, and its impact on the organizaiton and morale.   Her decision offered the employee an opportunity for personal growth but was ultimately in the best interest of the company which of course did not fully satisfy the employee.

This conversation got me thinking about management styles and how they intersect with employee behaviors. 

As leaders we have many different styles from which to choose when it comes to managing employees and organizations.   For the most part, those styles develop and evolve as a result of personal interactions, company culture and specific situations.  Often times managers employ one or multiple forms of a management method depending on the situation but we all have a predominant style.  Below are four of the most common management styles:

• Autocratic Management
  • Think tyrant, dictator – need I say more?
• Conflict Management Style – method for resolving conflict in the work place
  • Forcing:  use of position to make a decision to resolve conflict without input from those affected
  • Accommodating: allowing those affected make the decision with little regard as to whether or not the outcome is in the best interest of the employee/company
  • Avoiding:  ignore the issue and do nothing to seek resolution – TOXIC
  • Compromising:  finding middle ground that results in a solution that is acceptable to all
  • Collaborating:  addressing issues and concerns with involved parties and finding a solution that is ideally satisfactory to both parties but ultimately in the best interest of the company
• Democratic Management
  • Allows for the free flow of thoughts and ideas across all levels or an organization
  • Gives everyone and opportunity to become invested the wellbeing of the organization; everyone has value
• Participative Management
  • Creates the environment for group ownership of successes and failures

Given the different types of management styles discussed above and your experience as a manager how would you have handled the situation where an employee negatively reacts to an opportunity for personal grow and to contribute to the overall well-being of the company?

Please share your experience in the comment section below so that I may share your prospective with my colleague.

Can You Really Achieve Work-Life Balance?

It’s the end of the weekend and I have spent some time reviewing my schedule for the upcoming week.  I am thinking to myself, is there really such a thing as work life balance?  My calendar has very few openings and that includes the evenings and weekends.

I am also very aware of the fact that my carefully scheduled week will quickly become organized chaos once I step into my office tomorrow morning. Lately I seem to have a revolving door that is the direct route for a flow of steady interruptions.  Simple things really, “can you sit in on a quick meeting, ” “do you have time to review the budget for our latest grant application,” “Congratulations! You were appointed to the xyz RFP review group,” and my favorite “you know I have an idea that could really be big.”  Don’t get me wrong; I love to be a part of the action.  It is what every person strives for, to be a part of a team that achieves.

I am also aware that the demands of work will interrupt the personal time I try to allocate and when this happens it becomes very difficult to be fully present in the moment both personally and professionally.

Have you ever been faced with the challenge of work life balance for which there seemed no easy solution?  If so, I would love to hear how you took on the challenge, I know we can all benefit from your experience!

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The Art of Asking Why?

This weekend the squawk box was on and happened to be on a news channel.  I usually tune out the endless prattle of all that is wrong in the world particularly when it’s a politician who is doing the talking.  But for some reason I tuned into a sound bite of Vice-President Joe Biden.  I cannot tell you exactly what topic he was discussing but I clearly recall him saying, “…We have to change the way we talk to each other, tone matters, words matter….”

And that got me thinking.

How many times throughout the day do we have conversations?  Hundreds right?  Have you ever stopped to think about how you talk to someone?  Not how you think you are speaking to them but how they perceive you are speaking to them.

Take the simple question of “Why?” for example; there is an art to effectively asking that question.  As leaders we probably find ourselves asking that question a lot of ourselves, our staff our customers.

Why do you like the product?

Why do you think that is the correct decision?

Why should we invest in that project?

The response we get to the “why” is a direct reflection of how we ask the question. If the response we receive is defensive then we most likely asked the question in a manner that was perceived as hostile and aggressive.

Two things influence the way we communicate and they are often the two items we are most unaware of:  body language and tone of voice.

Our body language influences how the question was received and interpreted.  If we ask the question why with arms crossed, hands on hips or brows furrowed that sends the message that we are not in agreement or not open to an answer that may not be in line with our own thoughts.  Contrast that with asking the why question with a relaxed stance and expression of genuine interest.  Which do you think will encourage an honest conversation?

Tone of voice is the other factor that speakers are often unaware of how much it influences the direction of a conversation.  “Why” asked with an unnaturally deep or a short crisp tone puts the receiver on the defensive.  It sends the message that you really aren’t interested in the response or that the other’s thoughts are unimportant.  How do you respond when someone speaks to you in a gruff tone?

Remember, it is not how you think you are talking it is how the other person perceives your message.

Today as you go about your daily conversations, try to be conscious of the art of asking why or any other question for that matter.  Be aware of how your body language and tone of voice influence the perception of the question and see if your awareness of these two simple conversation influencers helps make your conversations a bit more productive.

Please share your results; I’d love to hear them.

When Opportunity Knocks

Today started out just like any other day; I was cruising down the road to work, sipping my coffee, planning out my day when I looked over at my phone and saw the flashing red message light and there it was …… opportunity knocking.

I listened to the message left by a complete stranger presenting an opportunity that had never, in my wildest dreams, crossed my mind.  I was stunned.  It was something so far outside of my comfort zone that I was left wondering what just happened?  My mind immediately began to race.  First with the one hundred and one questions I would ask when I returned the call and then with the thoughts of why me, and can I do this?  Then I did what I always do and switched into crisis mode, ok well this wasn’t really a crisis but it sure did throw a detour into my carefully mapped out path.

I have spent the better part of my career pushing, prodding and encouraging others to step outside their comfort zones, to embrace change, to look for and welcome opportunity.  I talk about believing in yourself and your abilities and what you have to contribute to the world.   I expect them to aim high and not to settle for complacency because that leads to stagnation and unhappiness.  I pose questions like “If you keep doing what you are doing now is anything going to change?”  “What’s the worst that can happen?  You try and don’t succeed and you are right back where you are now only a little bit wiser?” I know I spew triteness right?  Blech!

So back to the “crisis,” as I am frantically trying to convince myself why I can’t I find the tidbits mentioned above popping through my head like Jiminy Cricket is sitting there chirping away on my shoulder.  Just as I take my last sip of coffee on word comes to mind “HYPOCRITE.”

Yikes!

How can I apply all those rules and expectations to everyone but me?  There was my answer; I can’t honestly believe that we each have our future in our hands if we chose to go after it if I am not willing to walk my talk.  So there you have it, I am going to take a chance and see where it leads.  Who knows I might end up right back where I am at only a little bit wiser.

Excuse me, I have to go answer that knock.

 

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Does Your Walk Match Your Talk?

Lately I have been intrigued by the impact of communication strategy and its implementation within an organization.  Effective communication is essential to the success of any business and it affects every facet of an organization from productivity to employee moral.

I spend four hours a day on the road which gives me a lot of time to reflect on this topic and to come up with scenarios to solve that will provide answers to my questions.  Yesterday I came up a scenario that I wasn’t able to find a balanced solution to since I already have strong opinions on this topic.  I would like to hear your thoughts on how the following implementation of a communication strategy will affect the organization in the short and long term.

So, here’s the scenario…

You have spent a number years in the organization and you know your job inside and out.  You have watched the current leadership make decisions that you don’t agree with and you are convinced that if you are given the opportunity to lead you will make different choices and the results will be amazing.

You have reached the point in your career where you are ready to take the next step; so you volunteer for a committee or two, vocalize your thoughts on how to advance the organization by improving communications with staff, listening to the managers input, improving day to day operations and by reducing costs.

People begin to respond to you, they like what you have to say about leadership and they begin to buy into the message you are sending.

The organization has spent the past year in complete turmoil.  There have been personnel issues galore, no progress towards organizational goals, no communication, the budget is in the red and employee moral is at an all time low.  Employees are afraid for their jobs and are concerned about the stability of the organization because no one really knows what is going on.

Suddenly that opportunity presents itself, you are offered the chance to lead the organization and you eagerly accept.  The staff who have listened to you talk about your views on how you would lead are excited about the change and look forward to a new era of open communication.

You are thirty days into your new role, still in the honeymoon phase, and you have decided to make your first big change, one that will affect every employee.  You believe the change is needed and think it will be good for the organization.  So, you write a up short tersely worded memo notifying employees of the immediate change and clearly state that there will be no exceptions and no discussion with regards to your decision.  You distribute the memo to the entire organization and promptly leave for the rest of the day.

So here are my questions:

• Do these leader’s actions reflect the message he was sending?
• What do you think the reaction of the employees will be?
• Will this leader be successful?
• What do you think the long-term results will be?

I would love to hear your thoughts.



Silence is Golden But Duct Tape is Cheaper

“Silence is Golden But Duct Tape is Cheaper,” I saw this saying on a t-shirt at a baseball tournament awhile back and thought it was hilarious. It spoke to the competitor in me and humorously portrayed my belief that when you are competing you put it all on the line and let your actions speak for you.  But if you are one of those competitors that works hard until someone works just a little bit harder than you and does something just a little bit better and all of a sudden you turn into one of the proverbial whiners well, then, that’s where the duct tape would come in handy.

As managers we strive to be conscious of how our actions and words affect others.  We envision ourselves as role models and individuals who are very self-aware and the bedrock of our organization.  We are experts at organization and planning, adept at changing course on a moments notice, never missing a beat.  We are the encouragers, the ones who keep the group moving forward.

That is, until that one little mishap occurs.  The one becomes two and then three and suddenly our cool calm control begins to quickly slip away dragging with it all the professional polish we have worked so hard to create.  All of sudden your actions no longer speak for you, your mouth does.

Today started out just like any other day that is until I walked into my office and the first blip hit my radar.  It was quickly followed by another and another and another.   Through it all I proudly kept my professional wits about me, handled each situation and moved on to my full schedule for the evening.  The blips seemed to follow and get louder and more frequent until finally they got the best of me and you guessed it, I opened my mouth.  Everything I had worked toward today came quickly crashing down all because I had been bested and rather than owning the defeat I became on of the whiners.

Which brings me back to the t-shirt.  I had originally thought the saying was only appropriate for competitive sports.  But, as I sat replaying the scene in my mind I contemplated the cost of my actions.  I thought about how my whining affected those around me, how I did not stay true to my values of keeping my attitude positive and providing support and encouragement for others.  Suddenly the saying “Silence is Golden Duct Tape is Cheaper” transcended the playing field and entered the professional and personal arenas.

I learned how valuable silence truly is and perhaps more importantly I learned that my personal tool kit really needed a new tool……

I have $5 does anyone have some duct tape for sale?

Now That’s My Kind of Leader

I was at an event this weekend where I witnessed true leadership in action.  Not the flamboyant leadership that attracts headlines and a rock star like following that can be forgotten in the blink of an eye, but the quiet leadership that has a lasting impact for years to come on both the individual and the organization.

I was impressed as I watched this individual motivate the team, provide purposeful feedback, redirect people into positions that would most benefit the group and at times step up to accept the criticism that should have probably been directed to one of the members.  This leader consistently kept the end goal in front of the team by communicating and generating excitement for the plan to get there.  The leader listened to the input provided by the team members and was open to adjusting the plan as the situation evolved.

There were even a few times the leader chose to shoulder the burden alone because it was clear the team did not have the capacity to overcome the challenge.  The action was taken without any fanfare and when short-term success was realized the group celebrated it not the leader, the leader just reminded the team they were one step closer to their end goal.

The leader went to great lengths to recognize individual member contributions and displayed tremendous poise throughout the entire event.  As the weekend came to a close and it became clear that the group would successfully reach their goal I was surprised when the recognition for the success was given to the team member who played a role in the success but didn’t totally buy into the process of getting there.  The recognized “leader” was more than willing to be the rock star and accept the accolades for the team’s efforts.  As I watched, the individual who had actually provided the real leadership for the group walked over to the rock star, shook hands and offered congratulations for the team’s success.  The real leader quietly walked away with a satisfied smile at a job well done while the rest of the team celebrated their success.

Now that’s my kind of leader!

It is now part of my purpose to recognize the real leaders who guide their group to success and then quietly walk away.  Won’t you do the same?